Focusing

Having a wide angle lens, taking it all in, is a privilege. One I have enjoyed for 5 years now, with my identity lying outside of business life, in the ether of the woods somewhere.

In May 2020 I wrote of my weight goals and narrative focus on co2e.

My weight and fitness has become somewhat of a metaphor for my thinking about CO2e and indeed more broadly metaphor Ipull from in my coaching conversations with entrepreneurs.

in 2020 I learned how to crash my weight

In 2021 I somewhat solidified my identity as a 90kger not 100kger but with a bit of sliding. Upon reflection on the annual data i can that at the end of January was the only time i got down to 88kg in year 2 and spent the rest of the year cruising above the 90kg mark. the failure was that i got nowhere near my 80kg target and didn’t even get to the low of 85kgs that I managed in year one.

The success was that I managed to reduce the delta between the highest weight and lowest weight from 18kgs to less than 5kgs.

At the start of this year I have had a few things to reflect on! In 2022 i think i acknowledge that hitting 85kg reminds me what ‘good’ looks like — re-minds me what ideal feels like so that my sense of identity doesn’t slip down the slope back to obesity even though 85kgs is lighter than I need to be.

I think that getting to 88 doesn’t go far enough as too easy to believe that I ‘belong in the 90s.’ I think i am good at maintaining focus for 2/3 months — especially when it is cold and no-one is expecting to have much fun! this kind of focus is much easier for me than a ‘management mindset’ of maintaining an average for an ongoing amount of time!

Two weeks ago my mate got a heart attack! at 46 and I have been nervous about it ever since! so I went to lloyds pharmacy and got them to give me an mot.